Conversations with Parker

Conversation over dinner:

Ster: When do you think is a good time to decide to go on a mission? How old should you be? Not when you GO on a mission but when you DECIDE to go on a mission.
Parker: Well, I think I already have. I'm going on a mission.
Ster: What if your friends decide not to go?
Parker: I'd just tell them, see ya!

Later on that night, at Family Home Evening:

Ster: Tonight's lesson is about a wedge.
(pause)
Parker: Like a wedgie?
Ster: No.
(Sterling then went on to teach a fabulous lesson about a wedge put into a tree and forgotten and how it weakened the tree and the branch fell under pressure. We should be careful about keeping wedges in our own lives that may damage and weaken our relationships.)

Why I get mad at my children....

Nothing can make me feel like a failure faster than being a mom.

Isn't that a horrible sentence? I almost don't like reading it or typing it or saying it.

But the moment I acknowledged it, I began to make a major breakthrough in my motherhood psyche.

I will never forget this day. I had needed to go grocery shopping for a few days and was running out of everything. No eggs, milk or bread. No fresh fruit. No crackers, cookies or cold cereal. It was gone. Food storage was low because we had been finishing our basement and anything we ate from food storage had not been replaced because we really had no where to put it. I was struggling nursing, too, and felt like I had nothing left for the baby to drink.

Well, the children were hungry. "Starving!" they cried. And I had nothing. Nothing to offer. The cupboards were empty. Not only that, I was empty. My emotional well was dry and I had absolutely nothing left to offer. And I felt like  failure. I couldn't even feed my kids.

I have felt that way before, even when there was food on the shelves. Sometimes I just don't have anything left, emotionally to give. And I feel like a failure. When one child thinks he dumb. I'm a failure. When one child feels misunderstood. I'm a failure. When one child acts out because I know he/she isn't getting the attention at home they need, I'm a failure. When they don't know how to do their chores, I'm a failure. When I raise my voice, I'm a failure. Do you see the trend here?

I don't want you to think I feel like this all the time. I do make an effort to recognize the good I do and some days are really really awesome. Like THIS day. And I like to tell myself how AWESOME I am as often as possible. But when it comes down to it, the pedulum swings both ways. My greatest joys, utmost fulfillment and contentment - the moments that literally take my breath away, are a result of being a mother. The flip side is that I never feel more like a failure than when I struggle being a mother.

After a fantastic Power of Moms Learning Circle (more info on learning circles) the other night, I had a lightbulb moment. I realized where some of my anger and frustration, particularly toward my children, comes from. It stems from my feeling like a failure. I realize that I'm not perfect and that I don't have the answers and that, heaven forbid, I make mistakes. I get that. It just so happens that my children, indirectly, are usually the ones that point out that flaw or make that flaw so obvious, I can't ignore it anymore. And so I feel bad, like a failure, and I don't like to feel that way.  To make myself feel better, selfishly and childishly, I do something to make them feel bad for indirectly making me feel bad. Are you following me here? So I yell or punish. Looking at it through this new understanding, I realize how utterly ridiculous it is but how it totally makes sense that that is what I am doing.

Its not my children's fault that they help me see my weaknesses so I can turn them into my strengths. They are actually a blessing and great help to me. So its time to stop being mad at them. Its time to start looking inward and stretch myself and take that responsibility upon myself. So here's to another big step in the long journey of motherhood.

Book Review: New York

"New York" written by Edward Rutherford was a fascinating read, even for historical fiction. This genre can be tricky to write sometimes because authors will weigh heavy on history or heavy on fiction and the one or the other is left lacking. But I felt none of that, which is notable, because this book spans a whopping 400 years. Rutherford successfully mixes fictional and real characters to create a fantastic history of the city, making the city itself one of the most, captivating characters in the novel.

Beginning in New Amsterdam, in 1664, we are introduced to Dirk vanDyck, a Dutchman and his relationship with the local indian tribes who originally inhabited the area. From there, we begin to follow the Master family and they live in the city of New York through all its history and happenings.

It covers a lot of ground and I guess if I had one complaint, it would be that I forgot sometimes where I was and who was who, who begat who and so forth.  Sometimes I would think, "Man, that happened 100 years ago." And it did. The novel covers a lot of ground. When I decided to not let that bother me anymore, I became absorbed by the story of this family.

It was so interesting to read about the back and forth of politics in the early stages of America (before it was the United States) particularly with France, England and the New World. One of my favorite parts was the Revolutionary War. The complicated relationships between the federalists and loyalists, especially among family members was so interesting. I particularly loved the Master family throughout this portion of the novel. The family relationships were honest and gave me a perspective I had never really thought about before.

Beyond the revolutionary war, we read about slavery, the civil war, war draft riots, financial troubles, the great depression, hippie movements, immigrants and the list goes on. In fact, there is not much that is not mentioned. There were all sorts of tidbits about architecture, art, theater, finance, politics, weather. Although I'm sure I missed a lot because I know a lot, what I did catch was so interesting.

The fictional family is fun to read about. Their relationships are complicated and not always pretty. There are happy marriages as well as love affairs, undisciplined, disobedient children and honest, respectful relationships. I came to enjoy the family very much and was very interested in where history (their future) would lead them. Without that interest, the novel would have flopped.

The story ends on 9/11, when the twin towers fell. The more current parts of the novel seem to move more quickly to get to the end, and aren't quite as interesting as the previous parts. Maybe because I live in this world and I know what's coming. It is still a satisfying ending, though, with a great connection to the early chapters of the book. Overall, I came to admire and enjoy the Master family and would love to book a ticket for New York.

Hope of America

Sydney participated in "Hope of America" at the Marriot Center on BYU campus last week. It was AWESOME!   I love the feeling of patriotism and sense of community things like this create within me. Hope of America is part of the Freedom Festival that Utah County sponsors, which in and of itself is pretty amazing. You've heard of the Stadium of Fire, right? Awesome.  Anyway, Hope of America is a gathering of all the 5th graders in the county. There were 2500 students making up this flag.

Now I want you to imagine all those students and their parents and siblings, in minivans and SUVs on the road and parking lots. CHAOS!!!! It was horrible driving. It took us almost 1 1/2 hours to get to where we needed to be. Sydney was worried about being late and I had to use the bathroom, so I was sweating bullets as the traffic inched along at a snail's pace. I finally let Syd out near the Marriot Center and she ran to find her spot (if she wasn't ontime, she wouldn't be able to sit by her friends and then the whole event would be ruined, RUINED I tell you.) I think I found the last of 3 parking spots. We got out of the van and Rachel couldn't put her shoes on because the only pair she brought were 2 sizes too small. So she went barefoot. Yes, I am that mom. We hoofed it (the 4 kids and I), into the stadium and up to the nosebleed section. Then up and down several more times for impromptu drinks and bathroom breaks. After all that, Bryce and Rachel enjoyed playing on the steep stairs for 45 minutes before the show started, while I fed them colored mini-marshmallows in an effort to keep them nearby, at least.  
Too much rambling. On to the show. It was fabulous. A nice flag presentation by the ROTC and recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. I have a hard time getting through that without tears when the whole building is proclaiming their allegiance. Love it. Then there was a tribute to students with parents or siblings in the armed forces. That was awesome. Then on to the show. Just a few of the numbers. (These are the songs Sydney requested I record.)

This is America (keep in mind, I have already cut out the first 1:20 of this song. The kids were driving me nuts and bouncing on my lap and talking and trying to hold the camera. Eventually I pushed them off my lap.) (This song was written by Merrill Osmond. Go Osmonds! Two of my favorite songs from this program were written by him.)

Bill of Rights

America Rocks (I've included just a little of this one because the words are by Senator Hatch. I would love to hear him sing this. It might gain him a few more votes. The music is by Janice Kapp Perry. I thought that was interesting. )

We Can Be a Light (by far the best song of the evening)

We were also entertained by Jean's Golden Girls and the UVU Green Man Group. check them out.

the incidents - connected or not?

Incident #1 - I had a hankering for banana bread, so at the grocery store I bought too many bananas on purpose. Several days later, my morning was not going well. I had a splitting headache. After I sent the kids off the school, all I wanted to do was lay in bed, which I did, for most of the morning. Thank you, Sesame Street on Netflix. When I came out of my room, I started down the stairs to see how the kids were and narrowly missed stepping on peeled bananas on the floor. That's right, peeled banana chunks on the stairs, 3 of them. So, I did what any crazy mother would do and rinsed them off, mashed them up and made banana bread. It was the perfect after-school snack.

Incident #2 - Our library book had been missing since December. "Santa Doesn't Mop Floors." I looked high and low, in every nook and cranny, extending and extending and extending at the library. A week or so ago they called and asked about the status of the book. I told them I would just buy them a new book, so they sent me the bill. The very next day, my children emptied out the entire craft desk. The kitchen floor was covered with construction paper, stencils, pencils, crayons, glue sticks, and all sorts of scraps. And in the midst of all of that, was the library book.

Incident #3 - I had just finished boiling some noodles and drained them in the sink. I turned the stove off and moved the pan to a back burner. While I turned to the sink to get the noodles, Hash pulled a stool over to the stove and climbed up. He lightly touched the still hot burner, just enough to burn a couple of fingers. I held him and took him to the sink to run his fingers under cold water. On the way, he grabbed a sharp paring knife off the counter. I heard myself saying, "Just put down that sharp knife so we can put your burned fingers under the cold water."

chores & charts

I was going through a stack of old papers and found some old chore charts we used to use. I almost couldn't throw them away. Its things like this I think I will miss when the kids are gone and my household help has disappeared. So I took pictures of them and will write about them here so I can always remember the way things were. Its fun to see, even now, how our work system has evolved and changed as our family has grown. 

I feel very strongly that it is my responsibility, as a mother, to teach my children to be work hard, contribute to the family unit and be responsible for their work. One of the ways I do this is through household chores and charts.

Through the years I've come up with several different ways of mapping out the chores and motivating the children to actually do the chores. I'm totally fine with the fact that the method of motivation has to change every so often. Even when I come up with a good plan, after a while it gets old and when I change it up, all of a sudden its new again, even though the chores are the same. Sometimes a change is as good as a break.

One of my earlist attempts is here. I started it when Syd was in kindergarten or 1st grade, so about 5 years ago. We called it our "High 5" because there were 5 things to do before she went to school.

1. make your bed

2. brush your teeth

3. empty the dishwasher

4. clean up your room

5. hug your mother

When all of these things were accomplished, we'd count it off on our fingers and then give each other a high 5. Even Parker and eventually Camille, got in on the fun. I also had grand designs to have them help with dinner of certain nights of the week. That never happened very regularly but it was worth a shot.

When that got old, I made a new chart. The kids were getting older and more capable, so this chart included chores that were essentially, just cleaning up toys: upstairs, downstairs and wiping down the bathroom with clorox wipes. Everyone was able to do this, even at a young age. I'd switch their names every week. And of course, they still emptied the dishwasher for me every morning. It lasted for a few years, you can tell, by the sun-faded spots where the names used to go. Once the names started disappearing, it became necessary to create a new system.

With 3 children in school all day, I needed a way to keep track of papers and homework and forms and library books, etc, etc. I use these "folder holders." I taped their chore list to thesse and used magnets for them to indicate when certain chores were finished, but Bryce found a way to get his hands on them and before long they were lost. But we still use the charts to remember what we should be doing and mentally check off.  There is a list for AM and a different list for PM.

They also have a "zone" or area of the house they are responsible for, which changes each week. Just like before but now Rachel is involved and I expect more than just cleaning up toys, like vacuuming and garbage, etc.

And here's the kicker. I made lots of sheets like this and cut them into "tickets." One for AM chores, one for PM chores, one for extra jobs and one for Random Acts of Service. To get an AM ticket, all those things on their list have to be finished before they go to school and they are responsible for asking me for the ticket. I won't do it for them, even if I know they've finished everything. PM chores have to be finished by 5pm. Extra jobs are pretty much up to them. They ask for a job and I'll tell what's available, like the front glass door or floorboards or weeding, for a certain prices, usually around .50 cents. When I see them doing something nice for a sibling or doing something for me without being asked, they can earn a RAS.

I usually carry a stack of these around in my pocket all day, so there is no lag time between finishing a chore and handing out the ticket. I always forget if I don't do it right away.

At the end of the week, most often Monday actually, I collect all the tickets and we sort them out then add them up.

.10 -am

.10 - pm

.25 - rosetta stone

? - any extra jobs

RAS - 10 =date with mom

So far, it is working great. The kids are earning money and learning to count it out and save it up and pay tithing. They also get frustrated when they ask me to buy something and I refer them back to their piggy banks. Ha.

More than you wanted to know, I'm sure.

Book Review: The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

I just finished reading The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. It had been highly recommended and had been on my reading list for quite some time. Unfortunately, I think it was a case of expectations that were set too high because of the recommendation and anticipation. Don’t get me wrong, the book was great but did not meet the possibly unrealistic expectation I had for it. It just felt really disjointed with no solid development.

The book is about Precious Ramotswe, a private detective in Botswana. I was expecting a good mystery story. She is a private detective after all. I was confused at first, that we learned so much about her past, her father and upbringing, her indiscretions and challenges. After I realized the nature of the book, I started to enjoy it more. There are passages that are so beautiful in imagery, describing the landscape of Africa and the community in which Precious lives. I always enjoy reading about other cultures and countries. All the background sets the stage for nice character development in Precious.

However, Precious is one of the only characters I feel is adequately developed. Most of the other characters are the clients that come into the agency. Though the cases are entertaining enough, I don’t feel like they propelled the story in any real direction. And the final case, made reference to early on in an ambiguous story, not related to anything at all, really, feels empty because the connections and development were never very deep.

Beyond that, though, there were several parts that I really enjoyed. One was the attitude regarding the value of a woman.  A cousin raised Precious during the early years of her life. She was a meticulous teacher at home. By the time Precious started school, at age 6, she would have been considered very gifted, by our standards. In response to all this mothering, educating and nurturing, Obed, Precious’s father “had thanked her, and done so often, and generously, but it had not occurred to him to praise her, because in his view she was just doing her duty as a woman and there was nothing special about that.

“We are the ones who first ploughed the earth when Modise (God) made it,” ran an old Setswana poem. “We were the ones who made the food. We are the ones who look after the men when they are little boys, when they are young men, when they are old and about to die. We are always there. But we are just women, and nobody sees us.”

I think that may be a common attitude towards women, especially in certain cultures. I’m grateful that I don’t have to deal with that kind of mentality here and now. How draining.

 Another part I thought was hilarious was this. Precious is talking about the sense of confidentiality that doctors have, something she feels she has that in common with them, being a private detective. She reflects on how she doesn’t really have anything to hide anyway. Then she admits, “Now constipation was quite a different matter. It would be dreadful for the whole world to know about troubles of that nature. She felt terribly sorry for people who suffered from constipation, and she knew that there were many who did. There were probably enough of them to form a political party – with a chance of government perhaps – but what would such a party do if it was in power? Nothing, she imagined. It would try to pass legislation, but would fail.”

Besides Precious, the only other character who really mattered at all was her friend, a mechanic, J.L.B. Matekoni. The love story between the two, at least from his point of view, is so humble and genuine. I wanted to know more about him.

There were occasional nuggets of gold thrown out, thoughts that caused me to think and added depth of character and emotion. For example, this one regarding the challenges facing Africa. “There was so much suffering in Africa that it was tempting just to shrug your shoulders and walk away. But you can’t do that, she thought. You just can’t.” But the nuggets were just too few and far between without enough development of character to hold me over. They just made me wish for more of something that wasn't there.

It was a fine book. I'm glad I read it. But I'm not racing to get the next one in the series because I don't feel connection to any characters or storyline. Recommendation: 3/5.

fountains at city creek center

For one of our free days during spring break, we went to the play in the fountains at the new City Creek Center in downtown Salt Lake City. The kids had a lot of fun in the end but it took a little coaxing in the beginning.

Soon enough they were pretty wet and ready to battle it out with the fountains.

Leaving City Creek, we went to Temple Square and were able to take a picture right at the temple doors. It was beautiful, with all the tulips and other flowers.

We then went to the Museum of Church History and Art. There is a fun Book of Mormon exhibit for children. In the basement there is a nice display of children's art from the Friend magazine. The kids really enjoyed that as well. Oh, and the escalators. Ahhh the fascination.

First haircut

You're going to do WHAT???

Cut my HAIR???

What makes you think I need a haircut? 

Nice job, Dad.

I like it.

Easter

Easter started off with our annual cul-de-sac Easter Egg Hunt. It was beautiful weather and I was grateful, because in the past we have been our there with umbrellas. (Come rain or shine...)

gathering, Diahan getting ready to shout out her "Come to Jesus" revival comments. LOVE HER!

Sweet Miss Edna and Rachel

After the hunt at 9:00, we rushed out to West Jordan for cousin Cannon's baptism at 10:00 and a delicious lunch . Then we rushed to Orem for a piano recital at 1:00. Sydney did a great job. All of my students did. I was so proud of them. So polished and prepared, dressed in their Sunday best. Then my friend Kim and I did a fantastic duet to end the recital. So much fun.

I didn't get a picture when Syd was playing so I asked her to go up after and pretend to play.

After the recital, we rushed off to Grandma's house at 4:00 for an Easter dinner and egg hunt.Mom used her best china and the table settings were beautiful. One of my favorite parts were the lilacs and pictures of Jesus. One for each child to take home. Mom is always so thoughtful and has just the right touch.

Here Grandma is instructing the children on the egg hunt. Each child had a specific color to search for. Then they had an treasure hunt to find a new toy.

Then the race was on...and for Hash it was a little chilly. He had a blow-out diaper and had to go pantless for the rest of the day. Look at those cute legs.

Parker and Sterling had an impromptu snowball fight with the leftover snow in the shade that hadn't melted yet.

I already posted my Easter talk which pretty much sums up what I love about Easter Sunday. But I also loved seeing my children like this...

The Easter bunny, which no one really believes in around here, leaves just little candy (because they get so much for other sources anyway) and our hardboiled eggs BUT BEST OF ALL the bunny leaves a NEW BOOK and this Easter sunday I was blessed with witnessing what I've been hoping for all along.

Easter 2011

Easter 2010

Easter 2009

Easter 2008

Posting at Power of Moms today

My essay "Tying Knots" is live over at Power of Moms. You may have already read it but go check it out again. I know I need the reminder again and again, especially when the kids are home all the day and the chances of a mommy melt-down increase.

My Easter talk

When I was approached to give this talk, I was asked to speak on the life and resurrection of Jesus Christ and how it impacts my life and to keep it to 15 minutes. So I’ll try to sum it up.

As I prepared, I found I needed to find a theme or principle to explore to help focus my thoughts. After about a week, I ended up with 3 completely different outlines for talks. It’s hard to narrow down such a broad and magnificent topic, but I have tried. So forgive me if I seem to focus on only a few particles of understanding and my vision seems narrow. According to the topic I was given, I will divide my talk in two parts. First, some feelings about the atonement and resurrection. Second, how it impacts my life.

As I think about the resurrection, some of the words that come to mind are rebirth, renewal, redemption, restore, return, reclaim. All of those words, in my mind, suggest happiness, joy and most of all, hope.

I’d like to tell you a little about my mother-in-law. She is an amazing woman. She raised 7 children, 5 sons and 2 daughters. She was an accomplished homemaker. She made innumerable quilts made out of beautiful fabric. She was always crafting things for her children, for holidays and to decorate her home. She was a wonderful cook and was well-known for her pie-making abilities. She took several sewing and gourmet cooking classes to improve her talents. She would often be found playing the piano and organ at home and at church. She served faithfully in a variety of leadership callings in the church. She raised the handsome man I married. She raised him to be faithful, hard-working, intelligent and loving. She is a blessing to all who know her. My husband recently returned home from visiting her in Arizona where she currently resides in a care center, afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease.

This woman, who would take over mowing the lawn in the middle of a scorching Arizona summer afternoon so Sterling could have a short break, is now bedridden and immobile. This woman, who fed 7 hungry children every day, 5 of them growing boys with endless appetites, is now spoon fed by family members during mealtime. This woman, who loved nothing more than to sit with her children after school and listen to them talk, or to read story upon story to her grandchildren, is now mostly non-responsive.

Her mortal body, mind and limb, is frail and broken. It would be easy to sit in anger or despair at the loss of interaction with this loving mother. But in the miracle of the resurrection we find hope and anticipation of reuniting in a world far better than this. Through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we know that there is more to our journey than this life. There is life after death. In 1Cor. 15:22 we learn that “As in Adam all die even so in Christ… all are made alive.” The beauty of the resurrection is that this wonderful woman will live again and that we will see her and be with her again. Her mortal body will put on immortality (1Cor. 15:53-54) and be restored to its perfect form (Alma 11:43). The emptiness we feel in her absence now can, in essence, be a reminder of the empty tomb that glorious Easter morning. A witness and promise that Christ rose again and broke the bonds of death and provided the path of immortality for all of us.

rebirth, renewal, redemption, restore, return, reclaim. Resurrection.

Our bodies are not the only things that break. There are times when my heart and spirit feel frail and broken. Often times I have sinned, felt lonely, depressed, had feelings of spiritual doubt, discouragement, fear, apathy, and other mortal conditions. Just as my mother-in-law’s body is weak, we can become spiritually and emotionally weak. It is through the amazing grace and the endless gift of the atonement and the resurrection, that these states of anguish and pain are made right. In turning to Jesus Christ, through repentance and worship, through sacrifice and service, I feel His love and the blessings of his saving atonement.

Alma 7:11-12 reads, “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

His resurrection signifies to me that I am not alone in my suffering and insecurities. When the women came to the tomb on the third morning, to anoint Jesus’ body, they found the tomb empty, except for an angel. Matt. 28:5-6 says, “And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye; for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here; for he is risen…” Just as Jesus rose, I can rise, even now, in this life. I can hope for a better day. I can rise each morning and try each day to be better. Each Sunday I renew sacred covenants through participation in the sacrament. Each morning I can begin with a sense of renewal and rebirth, believing that I can change for the better.

 rebirth, renewal, redemption, restore, return, reclaim. Resurrection

The second part of my topic is “how does the resurrection impact my life?” That questions spurred this next question to my mind, “How can I make the atonement and resurrection matter so much to me that it motivates me to action?”

 I have written in my scriptures, this question: What does a caterpillar give up to become a butterfly? The answer? It gives up being a caterpillar. Think about that for a moment.

Elder Bednar, in the April Ensign quotes President David O McKay saying, “The purpose of the gospel is … to make bad men good and good men better, and to change human nature.” Elder Bednar continues, “Thus, the journey of mortality is to progress from bad to good to better and to experience the mighty change of heart – to have our fallen natures changed.” (see Mosiah 5:2) (Elder Bednar, April 2012 Ensign)

I actually kind of like my nature. I blame a lot on my nature. “Oh, that’s just the way I am. That’s my nature. I was born that way. It’s the way I was raised. It’s not really my fault or a fault at all. It’s just my nature.”  But I have come to believe, God fully expects us to “Put off the natural man (Mosiah 3:19).” He expects us to change our nature. The resurrection will change our bodies, but I think we can start changing some of who we are now.

Elder Bednar, in the April Ensign, says, “Help from the Savior is available for the entire journey of mortality – from bad to good to better and to change our very nature.” He calls this “God’s enabling grace” or the effects of the atonement and resurrection. It enables us to change.

The Bible dictionary defines it this way: “It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.” This is truly an amazing gift of the atonement and of great benefit to us as we work to change our nature.

I have experienced this in my work as a mother. I would consider myself to be a good mom. By God’s enabling grace I can be, I have the potential to be, a great mom. My natural woman, my nature, tells me I’m not thrilled about cleaning the bathrooms and fixing healthy meals, nagging about homework and doing another load of laundry. It tells me it’s justifiable to be ornery with the kids and yell or slam doors. But by God’s grace, I am able to see and feel the nobility in motherhood, even in the bathroom sink. The heaviness of a mother’s chore-list, day in and day out, is lightened when I open myself up to the Spirit and I “receive strength and assistance to do good works that I otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to my own means.” That is the enabling grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

My experience being a mother is similar to the story of Alma and his people who are in bondage and persecuted by Amulon.  The Lord said to them, “I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs… And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.” (Mosiah 24:14-15)

King Benjamin teaches we must, “yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit.”(Mosiah 3:19) We can tap into that enabling grace by yielding to the Holy Spirit and being submissive and patient.

So I ask myself, what am I yielding to? Every time I turn on that TV show or listen to that music or plant myself in front of the computer. Every time I nod my head but never make eye contact with my children because I’m busy doing my own selfish thing because I think I deserve it. My natural tendency is to yield to things of the world. Somehow they seem so important. Friday I had a list of things to do. It was long and extensive, in preparation to meet all the expectations of world-related easter celebrations on Saturday. As I drove on my way to my first stop, it suddenly hit me that it was Good Friday, the day Christ was crucified. My eyes filled with tears as I recognized the significance of that day.  Driving down that busy road, my eyes were opened and my perspective changed. I still had to check off everything on my list, but my spirit now was open to the yieldings of the Holy Ghost. The pressures of the world seemed to lose importance in comparison to Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

There is much to learn from Christ’s appearances after his resurrection. I highly suggest a study of those instances. I have learned so much in studying who he visited, what he taught and how it relates to me in those few appearances. In Luke 24 we read about two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Using my own words, when Christ joined the two disciples, their eyes were holden and they did not recognize him. He asked them what they were talking about and why they were sad? They asked him if he were a stranger to the city. And recounted who Jesus was and what had happened to him and his crucifixion. Sort of like, “Don’t you read the headlines? Don’t you watch the news? Aren’t you up to date on the important things in the world? These things are important.” When in reality, they were witness to the most amazing miracle to ever, ever take place. The resurrected Christ, of flesh and bone, walked with them. When their eyes were opened, “they said to one another, did not our hearts burn within us when he talked with us by the way?” Why didn’t they listen? Why didn’t they pay more attention to their burning hearts? Well, why don’t I? How much do I miss because my focus is not where it should be? Because I’m yielding to things of the world instead of to the spirit.

Back to my question. “How can I make atonement and resurrection matter so much to me that it motivates me to action?” The answer to that is different for every person and can be different for the same person at different phases of their life. I believe yielding to the spirit and being submissive and patient to the Lord’s will, will put us on the right path. I believe acknowledging the miracle and blessings and unearned, undeserved gift of the atonement, daily, are a start.

I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. His atonement and resurrection impact my life. Christ’s atonement and resurrection impact my life because they enable me to change and prepare myself for the resurrection. His example of sacrifice, resurrection and enabling grace can influence my daily actions as I yield to the enticing of the Holy Spirit. I will follow him in faith and devotion.

Method of Measurement - siblings

So Sterling had a few meetings in southern Utah and decided that while he was down south, he would keep driving on to Arizona and visit with family. Especially with his mother, who is bed-ridden with Alzheimer's. Using our "method of measurement" theory and the "good - better - best" concept, we thought, how can we take this trip from good to better? The answer was to take the family.

As we thought about how to take it from better to best, we decided he would only take Sydney and Parker. The goal was to create a time and atmosphere for them to become better friends. We thought they would benefit with time together without the distraction or competition from the younger siblings.

But when I saw these pictures in my inbox, I wondered if we made a mistake. The side trip to Zion's National Park looked pretty inticing.

I'll be interested in the getting the details when they come home. Hopefully our method of measurement in this case will pay off.

Blue and Gold Banquet

This was our first of many Blue & Gold Banquets. I turned the camera over to Sydney and let her have at it.

(I don't know what was so funny but Parker was sure laughing)

Parker earned his WOLF badge. It was a lot of work. Sterling and Parker really enjoyed working together to get all the requirments finished. I love the looks on the faces in the next pictures. Does anyone look very sure of what's happening as the award is presented?

Scouting is still all new to me. I'm glad Sterling can help out and enjoys helping out. I sure am proud of Parker and all of his hard work and enthusiasm for the scouting program.