Ogden Temple dedication

The Ogden Temple dedication was coming up and three of my five children were old enough to attend. I was excited and looked forward to this special occasion. They each needed a special event recommend to attend but with fast Sunday and Stake conference the two Sundays preceding the dedication, it was tricky getting the recommends. The Sunday before Stake conference,we had all come home from church and the kids had changed their clothes when I remembered it was our last chance to get the recommends. My sweet darlings were not at all pleased to have to change back into Sunday attire and return to the church to get interviewed. But they did it and I tucked the recommends away in a safe place so they'd be ready when needed in 2 weeks.
 
The week right before the dedication, I made a special trip to Walmart to make sure we had enough white handkerchiefs for everyone. I didn't want to be caught like one of the foolish young virgins who didn't have enough oil in her candle. I even searched around until I found the two lacy, embroidered hankies from the Bountiful and Draper temple dedications for the girls to use.
 
The morning of the temple dedication came and it was beautiful. It was overcast and threatened to rain but Sterling was home. He had no official responsibilities to speak of. All meetings were cancelled. He didn't have to speak, teach or train. It was a special occasion. So I made pancakes. Special hand-poured letters to match the child's first name.
 
As I carefully flipped the odd shaped pancakes, we talked about temples and their purpose. We talked about how lucky we are to be able to watch the dedication of a temple in a place we used to live. We talked about how some faithful members of the church in different parts of the world may never even be able to attend a temple because of where they live. Though they are faithful, temple worthy members, they will have to have their temple work done by proxy after they are dead. We are so lucky and blessed to have so many temples so close and be able to witness so many dedications.
 
I rushed through the last few letters, though. We had decided that I would go to the 10am session, then stay home with the younger two children while Ster went with the older three to the 1pm session. That way he could sit on the pew with them, something he never gets to do anymore. I hurried through my makeup and hair, trying to make up special pancake time. Ready to go, I grabbed an Ensign magazine and my purse. Just as a precaution, I decided to check that my temple recommend was in my purse. I pulled it out in its flimsy, plastic cover, turned it over. My heart stuttered when I stopped breathing and I felt hot and clammy. It expired in August. 
 
My mind ran through all the preparation and special care I had taken to prepare for the event. Recommends for the children, handkerchiefs, special breakfast and discussion, my planning to go early. Then I realized, I had to go out to my family and husband, tell them I wasn't going and confess why. I put on a brave face and tried to make a little light of the situation. But in the privacy of my own room I cried. It was a horrible feeling to know that my family was going to the chapel, an extension of the temple during the dedication, and I couldn't go.  
 
I was worthy to go but I wasn't ready. And that's important - to be both worthy AND ready! I will not be kept out of the temple again. Because of the temple and it's sacred, sealing ordinances, my family is eternal, a forever family, and I intend to be.

Book Review: The Secret Keeper

I just finished reading Kate Morton’s “the Secret Keeper.” It’s long and fat and I read it in 3 days so I could go to bookclub and not have the ending spoiled.

This is the second Kate Morton book I’ve read (the Forgotten Garden was the first) and it did not disappoint. In fact, it was fantastic. One of the things I love about Morton’s writing is that she places you so firmly in the setting, which is important because the two books I’ve read jump around quite a bit both in time and place.

“The Secret Keeper,” set in England, is about a daughter, her mother, a shared traumatic experience and the search for a long held secret. Laurel returns home in 2011 to Greenacre, together with her siblings, to be with her mother in her final days. Being home brings back all sorts of memories for Laurel and soon she has more questions than answers. That starts her on a massive search for answers that takes us back in time to 1941 and 1961 (or thereabouts).

The trip through time is historically interesting and Morton does a wonderful job of staying true to history and making it come alive so much that you feel you are there. When she whisks you off to another time and place, you are loath to leave where you came from until she wraps you up in the new setting. But it’s not abrupt. It’s skillfully and gently done. The skill of writing it takes to do that is beyond me. It’s amazing.

The characters are well drawn, the setting is tangible, the prose is inspiring. My only problem was that I wanted the answers as much as Laurel and a few times I just wanted less fluff and more answers. But that’s her style and it sure is beautiful writing. One of my favorite parts of this novel is that the characters, the main protagonists, the hero/heroines have faults. So though you love them, you also want to shake them by the shoulder and beg them to be stronger or more patient or more kind.

My favorite character was Jimmy, the love interest in 1941. So loyal and principled. He was a photographer and took photos of the fall-out from the London Blitz. About one of the pictures of a newly orphaned, young girl, the book reads: “Small individual tragedies like this little girl’s were nothing to the larger scale of the war; she and her tap shoes could be swept as easily as dust beneath history’s carpet. That photograph was real, though; it captured its moment and preserved it for the future like an insect in amber. It reminded Jimmy why what he did, recording the truth of the war, was important.”

One of the themes of the novel is that we often don’t know the story, the history, of the people we love, our families and in particular to this book, our mothers. Laurel didn’t know her mother’s past. Dolly didn’t know the past of the woman who employed her. The book gives us insight into the past of all the main characters and guess what? The past becomes super important and fascinating.

So it got me thinking about my mom and sure, I know a few stories here and there but what about the meat? Do I know enough? Do my kids know enough? After reading this book, I am so motivated to know my own mother’s past and learn from her personal history, because it’s important.

Familysearch.org has a new campaign called #meetmygrandma. You go to the website HERE and watch an awesome little video. Then you click through and you can enter a memory about your grandma. The goal is 10,000 memories in 10 days, Sept 20-30. They also have a link to 20 questions you can ask your grandma. Sounds like a worthwhile endeavor to me.

I must confess, my admiration for this book was greatly increased when Morton referenced the Tardis from Doctor Who. How can you go wrong with a book that sweeps generations and mentions the Tardis? So read “The Secret Keeper”! Then go read “The Forgotten Garden.” You will be transported to amazing times and places and you won’t regret it.

Confident women

I had this conversation with my 4th grade daughter.

Daughter: "Mom, I'm the Vice President of our class and my friend, Logan, is the President."
Me:  "Your friend, Logan, is she a girl?"
Daughter:  "Yep. And then Issac and Sam are the Secretary and Treasurer. They're both boys."
Me:  "Well, that's pretty cool."
Daughter:  "Yeah, so it's kind of like opposite of normal. Girls at the top."
She smirked and raised her eyebrows in an act of knowing pride.

A few things about this. It's interesting that she already knows, clearly, what the traditional gender roles are. Men are the leaders, women take the supporting roles. But in this case, the roles are reversed, she knows it and she's proud of it. It made me so proud of her!!! 

This little conversation made me think of an article I read earlier in the DesNews about the important quality of confidence in women. The Utah Women and Leadership program, hosted by UVU, is presenting a series of lectures about confident women. The article was interesting. You can read it here.

The article quotes Susan Madsen: "If we don’t help women have confidence as they’re girls and young women … we're just not going to have women be prepared or even aspire to lead," said Madsen, founder of the Utah Women and Education Project and the Utah Women in Leadership Project, and management professor at Utah Valley University's Woodbury School of Business."

That sounds like a call to arms to me- to mothers of girls and young women everywhere. We need to teach our girls to be confident and that they need to be leaders in whatever their endeavors are, whether that be a career, school PTA or staying at home to raise a family.

Further in the article, she says, :  "Confidence is actually critical in everything we do," Madsen said, adding it is different from self-esteem or feelings of self-worth.  All that confidence requires is the courage to do something, she said."

Now that's some interesting stuff. I thought if you taught a child self-esteem and self-worth, that equates to confidence. But now I really need to rethink that. I think confidence is so important. Confidence leads to action. And my boys need that just as much as my girls.

That good news is that there are more lectures in the series. Here's the info from the article:
The next speech in the series will be Oct. 28: "Talk Like a Girl: The Unique Communication Style of Women — When It Works and When It Doesn't," with Emily Hoffman, master facilitator of crucial conversations at Vital Smarts as the speaker.
On Jan. 28, panelists will share clinical perspectives on what keeps women from leading effectively.
March 18, Sheri Dew, president and CEO of Deseret Book, will speak on how people are born to lead.

Does anyone want to go with me?

Ster on Timp

One fine morning, after a lot of scheduling and no preparing, Ster and some friends hiked the tear-inducing Mount Timpanogos. (At least my experience induce many tears.) It was a chilly sort of day. The kind of day when the clouds feel lazy and settle down for a nap on top of mountain.

Ster and his friends hiked right into that cloud. Bryce was jealous. He always wanted to be in a cloud someday.

 

 

 Compare this picture to the meadow in THIS post. What a difference a season can make-July vs Sep

First, he's like, "How much further?"

 

Then he's all, "Seriously!?!"

 

Sterling's lovely wife snuck a Hostess fruit pie into his pack before he left. He ate it for energy to climb the tear-inducing mountain into the lazy cloud.

 

 

Cousins

I cannot remember the reason why we had this family get together. We don't NEED a reason but I'm sure there probably was one.

I just love that my kids have such wonderful cousins around them.

And I love that we have a good group of the older ones at BYU!

I will the following pictures demonstrate the influence of cousins. It started with this.

Which grew to this.

 

And stretched to this.

Yes, cousins. Your influence is felt. It is important and beautiful and I love it. Thank heaven for amazing cousins who are also great friends.

Book Review: Wonder

The last book was Wonder. Late again to the party. This book has been around for a while. So I have a 6^th grade son and, boy, does this author get the 5^th/6^th grade social scene. I loved how the story was told. With each new point of view going back in time just a little and then propelling the story further on. Genius. Each voice was clear and dead on as far as I’m concerned, for the age group.

As a parent, I appreciated the role and characterization of the parents. They were supportive and real. They struggled just as much as any other character in the story and parents reading the book could relate. Humor was a great part of the story as well, especially from Auggie (who probably got it from his Dad). My son liked it a lot and quoted it around the house for a few days.

I am glad Auggie had friends. Sometimes in real life, that doesn’t happen, so I felt like the story was a little sugar coated but I’m glad it was, especially for this age group. I think they need an example of the correct way to deal with difficult situations, which is one of the purposes of literature. I hope there are kids like that in my son’s school, who will stand up for the underdog. I would like to hope my son would stand up, or sit down at lunch, with the “Auggies” in his school.

Like “Fault in Our Stars” I felt like this book did a great job of voicing and describing the pre-adolescent and adolescent life. I really think everyone should read this book. If I had to pick one of the three in this post to recommend, it would be an easy choice. Wonder, for sure.

Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars

Ok, the next book I read was Fault In Our Stars. I know, I’m a little late to the party on this one. I wanted to see it with my teenage daughter and I just have a hard time seeing a movie based on a book without reading it first. And then, while I was reading it, she went and saw it anyway without me. Wahwah.  Let me preface this by saying I’m not a romance reader (or writer, I’m a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad romance writer). So why am I rewriting Cinderella? I don’t know. Let’s just say it may not be that romantic.

I thought Fault In Our Stars was a good book but I’m not in love with it like others are. I felt like some language and some of the sexual content was more than I would have liked for my slightly sheltered, Mormon daughter (jr. high age). But she read it and watched it and we talked about it and all is well in Zion.

I really enjoyed the friendship between the main characters and others. Gus and Hazel were quite mature. Maybe that comes with dealing with life and death situations as part of your normal routine. I wonder if teens got that depth. As an adult I really enjoyed it. It made me think more deeply about life, death, relationships and where I place my priorities.

I really appreciate when things don’t play out perfectly. Life isn’t perfect and often disappoints. So I liked how the highly esteemed author turns out to be a jerk, even to the end. And Gus’s other girlfriend had a downer attitude. That’s real life. So I enjoyed the book but I didn’t love it like so many others did. Maybe because of life experiences.

So this got me thinking. I didn’t absolutely love it but I’m quite sure that if I were to get together with others and discuss it, I would find more to like about the book. SO, is part of my love of some books related to the discussion and sharing of feelings I have with others? Books are powerful alone, but they are also powerful when shared through thought and discussion.

Anyway, I do have to say though, I don’t recommend reading this book if you are in the middle of being called back for further diagnosis of an abnormal mammogram and contemplating your own diagnosis. That was a little unsettling but everything turned out fine and I’m ok and the book was great. I really liked it and felt philosophical and hip while reading it.

Education may not be the great equalizer

I read this article in the newspaper (Deseret News Saturday Sep 13) that was so interesting to me. Any time there is an article about education, I read it. That's sort of a big part of my life right now with 5 kids and will continue to be for the next many years.

It's a commonly held belief that when you educate a child, you set them up for success. The idea is that if you educate those underprivileged, lower-income students and you change the trajectory of their lives. They'll get better jobs and be more successful contributors to society. Sounds about right, doesn't it? Well, this article goes against that idea.

From the article: "In 1982, Johns Hopkins sociologist Karl Alexander began tracking 790 Baltimore schoolchildren when they entered the first grade - and he followed them for the next 30 years of their lives. ... I was based on the assumption - one that dominated the literature - that schooling made the difference between rich and poor, between those who moved up the ladder and those who were left behind."

The result of the study found that the students ended up mostly where their parents were, regardless of their education. The thing that made the difference was family/social/employment networking. So if Dad or Mom had a good job and knew other people with good jobs, they would hook their kids up with good jobs. The kids followed the opportunities presented to them, which were equal to what their parents had.

So Alexander found that "things that were supposed to be great equalizers - like economic opportunity and education - weren't proving to be so equalizing. ... the poverty cycle is harder to break than we like to think."

I had never thought about that before but it is so true. I've always known networking is important and you hear about it all the time, especially with higher blue-collar and white-collar professions. Which is interesting. But I hadn't stopped to think that networking might actually be, not more important, but just as important as education. And so my take away is that those more fortunate should be more open and extend their networking to those who may not have it so easily available. Networking. Interning. Making connections. Volunteering. Those are all things that need to be considered by high school and college kids as they look toward a future career. Good things to think about.

Book Review: Cinder

I just finished a reading splurge. I read three great books, all very different in my opinion. Well, two of them are a little similar and the third is very different from the others but not better, so we’ll start with that one.

Cinder, as you might guess from the title, is a retelling of Cinderella. This caught my eye because, hello, I’m in the middle of writing a retelling of Cinderella. This story is fun because it is set in the future in a very techno-savy, robotic society. It even involves a race of beings from the moon. The main character is a strong and intelligent woman but still the oppressed underdog, at the mercy of her stepmother. The prince is endearing and sympathetic. A very likable character. And the peripheral characters are mostly well done. There was heartache and humor. The romance was sweet.

The problem is the whole time I’m reading, I’m thinking, if you break this down to a rough outline, it’s very similar to my story. I know, I know, they’re both Cinderella, so of course they are going to be similar. But even still, some of the things I changed, she changed too. Not to give too much away, but the family situation is similar. The way Cinder, (my character, Dru) is looked down upon and why, is similar. Their insecurity stems from the same place. But the thing is, this other author’s setting is so unique, set in the future with all the techno stuff. Mine is set in same old, same old fairytale land. And I’m struggling right now with how to make my story unique and stronger. How can I make Dru stand out? How can I make the juxtaposition more dangerous or weighty (what’s the word?) between good and evil, natural impulse and expectation, dark magic and good intentions. And if I’m not seeing similarities with Cinder, I’m seeing them with the movie Ever After. They were the furthest thing from my mind when I wrote my version. I didn’t even know about Cinder, but now I just feel like mine is a cheap imitation. I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out.

Anyway, Cinder was a great read. It really ends on the edge of a cliff. Not really an ending at all, just a beginning for more to come. So I read the preview chapter of the next book, Scarlet, which I assume is Red Riding Hood, which coincidentally, I also have a rough draft of. But it didn’t really hook me from the get go. Maybe I’ll get to it eventually but I’m in no rush.

Provo Canyon 2014

 

The last few years we have made it a habit to go up Provo Canyon after Stake Conference. We bring a picnic, blanket and a variety of balls and we spend the afternoon lounging about. It is one of my most favorite things to do. And one of the only Sundays EVER when Sterling can say the final amen at 12:00 noon and not have other obligations. It's heaven!

 

The year Bryce was born, we took a picture of all five kids lined up in a row and we've taken one every year since. Here are the attempts at a picture for Sept 2014. I finally had to work a little photoshop magic to get a picture with everyone's eyes open.

 

2013

2012

2010

Revival Recital the Third 2014

And here we go, another Revival Recital. Awesome as always. Awesome because the women who participate are amazing, talented, determined women. All of whom I love. 

But of course, no video. I really should do better at this. It just feels a little bit like bragging because we are all so awesome!

"Clair de Lune" by Debussy

Summer Hike - Battle Creek Canyon

We tried to sneak one more hike on Labor Day. We started bright and early on a hike to Battle Creek Falls with some friends. It wasn't long before we saw lots of familiar faces. We weren't the only people from our neck of the woods who decided to hike to Battle Creek.

This was a super, super easy hike. Here at the top of the falls, the trail went on. We didn't continue on but some other friends did. They never came to the end though. I think it connects with a Grove Creek Trail for an 8 or 9 mile loop kind of hike. They eventually just turned around and came back. 

 

Even though the hike was shorter and less strenuous than I had hoped, the falls were beautiful and fun for the kids to play in.

 

Love this family picture.

The best part of hiking and being together as a family are moments like these.